Love Yourself Whilst Working For What You Want

Confidence, unfortunately, isn’t something we’re born with. It sometimes seems to be the most rare of human mentality in a society drunk on the image of Photo-shopped bodies, faces and unachievable expectations. Confidence isn’t just a daring outfit, or new hair colour that screams ‘look at me’, and sometimes it’s people with the boldest of image that suffer the most with confidence; it’s something that shines from within, radiating to the expression on our face, to our posture, our interactions with others, and our temperament. It affects everything, and although people wish to bottle it up and sell it like it’s something that can be achieved overnight, it’s within us all. We just have to take the journey to find it. 

I’ve been on every level on the confidence scale. From the highest to the lowest and sometimes there seems to be no in-between. It never seemed to be my forte, almost as if everybody has an attribute that they’re most accredited for; confidence was never mine.  For example, the class clown who doesn’t bat an eyelid when they disrupt the class – I’ve always admired their desire to be heard, no matter how much trouble they get into. The girl who always put her hand up, even if the answer was completely wrong, sometimes hilariously wrong – even though she gets a few sneers and laughs, I’ve always admired her persistence and determination to try and try again. I don’t know about you but I always think to myself: what attribute am I paired with? What am I most known for to my closest friends and family? 

Most of our actions are a product of inner-confidence, even though it’s not always a conscious decision; we all have it in us without realising it, it just has to be ignited and only you hold the match. Unfortunately it can take a lifetime to build, and seconds to destroy when letting other people and situations disrupt your calm, which is why confidence is something we have to try with, each and every day, whilst getting to the place we want to be in our lives and in ourselves. 

After events last year, I’ve become a firm believer of finding a love for yourself whilst working for what you want. It’s become less of a frustration of having an image of where I want to be but a warm acceptance of the process, welcoming change and learning to be patient with myself despite events that have tried to disrupt my own calm. Fitness is now my calm. 

When applied to health and fitness, it’s all about the process and mentality, finding the conviction to reassure that you’re doing just fine, and the results will come with persistence and a love and gratitude for yourself. Don’t just work for your dream body or health goals for your partner, or anyone you’re trying to impress in fact, do it for you and to create a better, more confident you; THAT is when you will see results. That’s when I saw results. Each gym session was a step closer to the body I’ve always wanted (it still is) and the confidence I’ve always seemed to struggle to find. With every gym session you are getting stronger, physically and mentally. With every healthy meal choice you make, you are nourishing your body with the goodness it needs to make the most of your existence on this planet. Being kind to ourselves during the process is the key to achieving our goals and leading a more self-loving, accomplished life. 

Negativity is within us too, and no it is not embedded into our brains from birth. Like confidence, it can build up as a product of our environment, people we choose to surround ourselves with and is consumed by a part of our brains that want to protect us from harm, as a result turning it into - what is perceived to be - negativity. Feeding into the inner critic after making the conscious decision to make constructive change to your life is completely pointless. It does nothing but create a negativity that dampens any form of energy put into bettering yourself, hence why many surrender on their journey of self-improvement and finding confidence. 

Don’t get me wrong, a bout of confidence and self-esteem issues still regularly comes knocking on my door, but I try and make the decision every day to turn it away, and as the weeks pass, it becomes an easier process, until you don’t even bother to check what’s at that door anymore. It’s about taking control, and making choices for you and only you, and this can start simply by your altering your environment, and the people you choose to spend your time with. 

Cleanse, your life of toxic negative people. Cleanse, your mind of negative thoughts that destroy your progress – keep your eyes on the goal, don’t ever take them off. Cleanse, or change your surroundings. And in turn your confidence will not only start to grow, but you will start to live your life at peace with yourself, building a positive relationship with yourself, whilst making decisions driven by your heart and soul. What could be better than tackling life headfirst with our heart and souls instead of our self-doubt and negativities? There would be no need for Photoshopped women on glossy magazines that’s for sure.

LAURA